1 Samuel 25:8
“Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.”

We are called to love and do good to all men, but we are not called to expect favor or a positive response from them. We are called to serve our generation, but we are not called to ask them to serve us back.

We have to know our calling as pilgrims and manage our expectations. Disappointment and heartbreak happen when we have high expectations of people and when they fail to meet those expectations. Lower the bar.

Lower the bar of what men will do for you. Lower the bar of how they will respond to your goodness. Lower the bar of how they will read and understand your good deeds to them. You will save your heart great stress if you lower the bar.

Unfortunately, human beings are very unreliable and can sometimes be unreasonable. If you understand who they are, you should not expect them to respond to you in the same gracious way you have served them. It is what Man is.

David had high expectations of Nabal. David had been good to Nabal and his shepherds and thought Nabal would appreciate this kindness. David expected Nabal to reciprocate in kind, and that’s why he was bold in his asking.

But David misread and misunderstood Nabal. David expected good when mankind is inherently evil. Nabal was living up to his name. In Hebrew, Nabal means “fool, futile, worthless, good-for-nothing.” That is what Man is without God.

Lower the bar for mankind. Lower your expectations. Sometimes, choose to have no expectations so you can protect your heart. Whether it’s with loved ones or with your enemies, lowering expectations is a safer option.

Do we stop doing good because of this? Certainly not. We are of a different gender, a distinct species. We must, however, grow wiser by lowering the bar. Nabal cannot stop us from doing good to mankind, but we must learn from our encounters with him.