\u2018I\u2019ve tried, but I\u2019ve failed over and over again. I am tired of trying to conform. I can\u2019t be true to myself if I keep trying to adapt to the world. I had desired to be like everyone else, but it seems clearer to me Lord, that You don\u2019t expect me to be like everyone else. I can\u2019t follow the pursuits and the passions of the world around me. I have tried Lord, but it\u2019s not working. Now, all I want to be is whom You\u2019ve made me be, a lover after Your own heart. I used to think I was weird until I started seeing that the saints in scriptures and the ancient Church fathers had the same passions from You.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lord, I will not forgo my calling to be a chaser after Your heart, so that I may conform to the world. All their vanities don\u2019t excite me anymore. I feel odd in their petty discussions and vain desires. I don\u2019t care about these things Lord. How did You get me to this point, I don\u2019t know. But I need help to know how to be true to these desires You\u2019ve put in me and how to live it out in a world that is hostile to men like me. I will be laughed at. I will be mocked. I will be slighted. I will be downplayed. My sense of worth may be trampled upon. But Lord, teach me not to care about these things. Teach my heart not to degrade itself to become a normal human being. I don\u2019t want to be normal. I don\u2019t want to live the normal life. I want the heart panting after You to be my defining character. That\u2019s all that matters because all these beautiful things shall indeed vanish and fade away one day. So keep me faithful Lord. Keep me true. Amen.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u2018I\u2019ve tried, but I\u2019ve failed over and over again. I am tired of trying to conform. I can\u2019t be true to myself if I keep trying to adapt to the world. I had desired to be like everyone else, but it seems clearer to me Lord, that You don\u2019t expect me to be like everyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7374,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-30-pilgrim-reflections-and-prayers","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t