1 Samuel 13:11 (NKJV)
\u201cAnd Samuel said, \u2018What have you done?\u2019 Saul said, \u2018When I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered together at Michmash,\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of the most difficult things to do in relationships is asking hard questions. People don\u2019t like those hard questions but the test of any true relationship is in your ability to ask each other hard questions. If you can\u2019t do this, then question the authenticity of your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hard, does not necessarily mean rough or harsh questions. I am sometimes shocked by how Westerners can speak directly on subjects that may seem uncomfortable to people from Eastern cultures. Sometimes, Westerners may seem too direct, but at least, they are asking the hard questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In some cultures, we hide away from asking direct questions, but then we go behind and ask those same questions from third parties. This is not God\u2019s way. As much as is possible (and it is not always possible), ask direct questions to the people concerned, but do so in love and humility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Samuel saw what Saul had done but did not want to jump to conclusions without giving him the benefit of the doubt. That\u2019s why he asked, \u201cWhat have you done?\u201d This gave Saul an opportunity to explain his actions. While his actions were wrong, his response at least gave us the reasons why he did it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ask questions to those whom you can ask questions. Ask open ended questions to give the other party opportunity to explain. Ask non-judgmentally, as someone wanting to understand, and not as someone with a closed mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saul did the wrong thing and it caused him to lose the kingship given to him. How I wish that he had answered Samuel\u2019s question differently! A contrite answer turns away judgement, especially when you know you are wrong. Saul\u2019s answer had no contrition in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In love, ask hard questions. With humility, answer hard questions. This is how real communities exist and thrive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1 Samuel 13:11 (NKJV)\u201cAnd Samuel said, \u2018What have you done?\u2019 Saul said, \u2018When I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered together at Michmash,\u2019\u201d Some of the most difficult things to do in relationships is asking hard questions. People […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-reflections-from-1st-samuel"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t