All is vanity

Position, power, success, a great name, respect.

All is nothing without love.

When the chips are down, all we need is love.

We look for it in a big name, but find love isn’t the same.

We look for it in great possessions, but lo, it’s not there either.

We look for it in societal recognition, but it’s not the same.

All of man’s life is in search for love:

Love that accepts,

Love that’s unconditional,

Love that affirms,

Love that believes; that speaks of faith and trust in you.

All of mankind is searching for love.

“Lord, that’s all I want too.

That’s all I need.

I want love so desperately but I can’t find it here.

I can’t find what am looking for amongst men,

And I sense that You’re doing this intentionally.

I think You want me to feel this vacuum.

Only You Lord, knows me deep enough to love me deep enough.

Only You can see my faults and cracks the way You do, and still love me.

Others love me for a season and as my humanity begins to show up,

They turn and flee.

The beautiful picture they had of me is shattered,

Once they come close enough.

They suddenly smell some of my humanness and turn their backs.

They withhold their love.

They go in search of one deserving of their love.

“But You love me Lord as I am.

For this reason, I need to cling to You and no other.

Others will come and go, but You remain.

Others will be disappointed in me but You accept me and hide me.

That’s why I can’t follow another One.

Only You can do, what no man can do to me and in me.

“Because You have loved me so,

Lord, give me the heart to so love others.

Because men are frail and will fail me,

Lord, teach me to quickly forgive and give people a second chance.

That which I want so much from people:

(Continuos, passionate, unconditional love);

Lord, fill my heart with the same levels of love to others.

Strengthen me to serve and affirm and encourage others.

Help me make room for them to try again.

Teach me not to cut people off because they don’t meet my expectation.

Since I don’t desire such from others,

May I not give same to others.”

I am a failure in love.

I’ve set very hard and tough standards for myself and for those with me.

Yes, I desire excellence in all things,

But I need also to be soft so as to help the struggling amongst us.

May I learn what it means to love.

May God teach me how I am expected to build affirming relationships.

May I grow beyond where I am, to where I ought to be.

I am a failure in love, but I have hope.

Because the God of love has not given up on me,

I will not give up on myself either.

My hope is in God,

In God’s ability to shape and mould my life.

For this reason, I will not give up on myself.

I desperately need loads of love and acceptance;

And as I find it in Christ, and I am shaped by it,

May I also stop being so cynical and critical and negative;

But may I begin to have a positive, affirming and embracing spirit.

May this change happen with me quickly,

So that I may begin this new page in my journey.

Amen.